>> greg: true. >> kimberly: crazy old ladies are waiting for you outside. that's it for us. wow! for"the five." bob's babysitter is coming welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld holder of seven world records including the use of rope. what's coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> my god it is full of stars, america. coming up on the big show, a new poll shows big government and big business. a fair and balanced discussion on how fair this is next. and should home improvement giant lowe's had pulled its ad from the show "all-american muslim." some say toast, but then others say what the hell does toast mean? and chicago strip club offers free lap dances to those who offer toys to charity. you probably think we made this up. greg? >> thank you, andy. >> greg, what are you doing next year on june 13th?
>> no idea. >> yes, you do. >> you do? >> we are going out for an evening with yani under the stars. >> what if i have plans? >> it is six months from now. >> you can't assume you can do whatever you want with my life. whether it is yani or no yani it is inconsider at. >> try to do something nice and this is how you act? i don't know why i bother. >> that's exactly what you do. you bother me. >> fine. i'm sure ricardo would like to go with me. >> watch me. >> have a great show, jerk. >> highs done this before. i will not apologize for. it it is embarassing, but we will move on and do the show. let's welcome our guests. she is so hot people roast chestnuts over her. i am here with fox business network shavoni joesy. and he was named by jaw derosa's family, joe devito. and his expiration date was two weeks ago, hence the
smell. it is bill schulz. and every night he kills 10 spotted owls for a new down pillow and two condors for fun. next to me, dana vaw vachon. and he is a liberal think covered with ink. our "new york times" correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> in art and leisure, he writes of the trend that is incest being a major plot point on local programming. and there is no truth to the rumor that anything occurred between me and my sister publication, the boston globe. >> i blame the silk merchant who is the new york post for manufacturing the lie. >> you did seem awful close at the news stand. >> i have a very tight family. and that's the way they stack us. >> so we've got a lot of pull to talk about. you know what that means. i'm lonely. it is also time once again for dash -- dash.
>> poles and poles and poles. >> that's an emmy winner. so do americans have love for big gov? no. folks, fear is expanding, and they fear it will be the biggest threat in the future. eight% blame big labor and 4% said big greg. they will be killed shortsly. and another separate poll -- there is two -- this one showing in 12 key states on the electoral map, the democratic support is eroding while the republicans are growing. do you see the purple there? i have no idea why. president obama carried these states by eight points the last election when 11% voters said they were democrats, but that has shrinking to what they call a statistically insignificant 2%. sucks to be you, 2%. and finally, shear one more poll.
>> dana, welcome to the show. you look smashing as always. i'm glad somebody dressed you. big government or big business, is that a healthy, healthy trend? i would think so. >> i think the american people are like an old widow. it is like a choice between the accented con men who would lick your ear lobes at night and in her dying moments will make her sign everything over to him. big business that knocks down the door and beats the crap out of her, but takes only a small portion every april. but neither one is good. >> i would say those two comparisons are not really good comparisons. they are bad. >> well, it was their last decade. it is hard to feel -- well, no one is in jail for what happened with the market!
citigroup is designing security,and they knew they would fail. >> the justice department doesn't make them emit the wrongdoing. it is hard to feel anybody feels enthusiastic about either the big business or the big government. >> 48% of the democrats say the government is the greatest fear. aren't they supposed to be the party of big government? >> aren't they supposed to like themselves? they are feeding their own conference here. i think this represents the fact that americans are sort of confused. they are broker than they were four years ago. they thought they elected the super liberal president who is not super liberal. he is a little of everything. americans are just a little disenchanted right now. >> joe? what about big labor? >> big tobacco. >> big tobacco!
>> i think this is good. it shows that both republicans and democrats agree on this. the big government, it is bad news. aside from like -- you know about big business and all of those other things we want to put the word big in front of. big government means too big. it is overwhelming. and unfortunately we have created a ruling class that is robbing everybody. we are realizing several decades too late, but people are realizing it now. >> big business is the big uniter. it is uniting us against big business. >> in some case there's is such a thing as big government. it is great government. it builds great infrastructure. steve jobs, apple, it is great business. we have seen both of these things being good. >> but jobs wasn't in the government. >> that's my point. the private sector can do wonderful, amazing things, but more were getting through the arts and now we are left to deal with that. and there are governmental failures that went into the mortgage crisis too. >> you fear big wheelels. >> yes.
>> i was always a match box guy. are you a max box guy or big wheels guy. >> why do you not like the poll? >> the big government democrats don't exist anymore. they haven't since clinton. a perfect example is our governor cuomo. he is austerity and yet not upset if two men want to get married. and that's what i can get behind. look at obama. 200 cuts or cancellations of programs on the 2012 proposal. it is people who don't necessarily want to rule with the bible in one hand and a wallet in the other. >> big government is helping their lives. it is not giving their jobs and retirement plan and helping their kids go to college. why make it bigger when it is not helping them at the end of the day, and they continue to put their tax dollars into it. people are asking, what is in it for me? we are not seeing the real payoff. >> i have to disagree with
bill over obama being a ?awl government democrat. they can't even cut 2% of the government over 10 years. i get it. government expanded under bush, but it really expanded under obama. we have been through this before. we have to cut our budgets at home, and they can't cut 2%. having said that, so it is half of america's fault. >> they will cut your budget because they will print the money and yours will be worth a little less. >> they talk about the austerity programs and they say weerks are not going to waste as much as we thought. this is like, well, we will spend some money to have the chairs reuh pull sistered. >> the thing that bugs me too about this is if people have a problem with big government, how many of those people are
getting something from the big government? it is lying a drug addict saying they don't like their pusher. >> for the record, i love my president busher. >> there is no idea of governmental good. it is all small interest that are waring with each other: the theft you get is the theft you deserve. >> it is getting so serious. >> that just blew my mind. >> i feel like the government is the affect of things that come from the rest of society. it is a projection of all of those interests. if you find you are getting looted by your government, are you robs yourself. -- you are robbing yourself. >> i got arrested for that once. from whoas to foes. will they throw us a bone and give us our drone? will the obama administration that returned the u.s.
surveillance plane seen here, it does president look real, captured by iran's top forces. >> looks like something i got. and they are speaking to the islamic leaders saying, quote, can you be cool for once? he said this. >> it has already been indicated and we have asked for it back. we will see how the iranians respond. >> iran's authorities have reportedly shruged off the request with ahmadinejad saying, quote, the americans have perhaps decided to give us a spy plane. we now have control of the plane. they don't because they don't have the remote control thing to play with. former vp dick cheney would have handled the situation differently saying, quote, the right response would have been to go immediately after it had gone down and destroyed it. you can do it from the air and make it impossible for them to benefit for having captured the drone. what is our captured drone up
to now? >> did i just see that? you gave me a pill before the show. >> there was that clip there. we were sitting here watching you sweat jie. they were speaking span spanish. >> i don't know what happened, but i endorse it. can we have our drone back, obamas tear down the wall. >> it is so pathetic. it is clearly a spying device. it is not like you can say can we have it back? it is not like your ball rolled into the yard. democratic presidents have problems with the iranians making us look embarassed with things crashing from the air.
if it is clearly a spy plane, you just have to act like you have no idea where it came from. >> we tried that for a week. >> the made in the usa thing was a give away. >> but a canadian flag sticker on it to confuse everyone. or fill it with candy. >> or put a switzerland logo on it and iran would have gone after switzerland. >> the swiss ambassador was there trying to plead our case. >> they always do that. what are they called the swiss? >> something like that. you know he is dropping the hammer. >> exactly. they are officially in the middle of this. dana, what should we do here? >> first of all, it is not our drone. i have a problem with the pro noun. it is their drone. when you fly over a sovereign nation airspace they are not in violation. it is their drone. it is not our drone. i have some intelligent
sources and friends in the cia and they say ago ma din gnaw god says he will present it to pipa middleton as a present. >> the luckiest girl in the world. >> for the love of pippa. >> it is a truly happy ending. by your logic netanyahu will be heart broken because he is vying for her love. that's what you have to understand to understand the middle east. >> pipa could solve all of our problems. but by your logic couldn't we take the planes that fly over? >> if they have negotiated air rights, no. the predator drones dry pretty well. but why don't they have a self-destruct button? you -- dick cheney as much as he is board and i still have some code to adds. why didn't it have a self-destruct button on it?
>> you are an expert in drones. does the obama administration look weak at this point by asking for it 1234*. >> have you seen ahmadinejad? forget about it. when you beg and plead makes you look stupid, he is a mean dude that will take your ball and then gets you on the ground and says give me your lunch money. >> it is a kid late to puberty and got the crap knocked out of him, and he is in the woods of the playground field rubbing sticks together to make fire. >> and 40 years later he is running a country. >> i was going to use that as a nuclear metaphor. >> that's a good point. they have all of this oil they they can't pump. you though what will happen? they take apart the grown and you know what is happening, a
grown. >> they are saying that it doesn't do any good. >> when they sell it to china it won't be so great. he did have a self-de defunct button. >> they can fuel our flow, but they can't flow like we flow. >> it is self-destruct hable y -- it is self-destructible emotionally. >> working under cover and taking pictures. >> and lady loved it. >> i am a little unimpressed with our panel. open your minds. they have simply fallen pray to one of the oldest military tactics. it goes back before cries. -- before christ. >> i was just thinking that. >> we are doing this big show, but meanwhile, those third world scientists are going at the plane. you no i what the plane is in it is looking back at them with miniature cameras. and once we have gotten all
the knowledge what we need from the stone age scientists we willow blow it up. you had the same thoughts when they released the iphone. you said we will take them home and see if steve jobs is watching everythingy wee do. >> wheb -- remember what they found at his house? i was correct. >> interesting point. i never thought of it that way. >> war inevitable? >> no. >> no. you president do think so? >> i go to bed with a pack scan knee bomb and on north cory korean backs. >> what is their name? >> is it the -- >> it is the -- in any event there are young iranians who are secular. we have seen them vote and didn't do much to help them. you just need to stay out the
baby boomers. the economy is so frag jibing to screw around -- >> those guys are jerks. >> you had a chance. you could have had one more, america. we said you could have one treat and you chose iraq? now you have to live with that. >> great people. amazing brunch. coming up, how does one settle they ter national conflict in ties. but first -- are we doing this story? are we doing this one? no, we won't do it. we are doing a different story. stick around.
pulling their ad? after caving to complaints from an anti-islamic group -- what did i almost say? >> zombie. >> anti-islamic group. anti-zombie group? what am i thinking about, and why is michael leer sticking out -- my collar sticking out? the florida family association gripes the reality show doesn't accurately portray muslims because it shows families not extremists. and cue the nest sable anger from law rights, organizations and celebrity. tweeted hip-hop mogul russell simmons, quote, dear lowes, religious hatred is unamerican. the all caps means he is yelling. and a post on facebook, some kind of social network, lowes says, managed to make people unhappy, and is sincerely sorry. but then defended the pullout
saying individuals in the view of the topic and it was a lightning rod for many of those views. for more let's go to the correspondent. >> i don't know. i'm done. >> great analysis. >> this all started with the tampa bay outrage enthusiasts. they have like 35,000 memories. should they have that much influence over a company? >> change the channel. there were about 10,000 other things you can b watching on tv. you still will never find anything to watch, but i don't know why people are targeting their outrage. and then russell simmons, good god how can he be a raper and drink crystal and do all of
the things he wants to do occupying wall street. now he is speaking out for islamic people. he needs to sit by the -- >> he is not a rapper. he is a hip-hop producer. >> a mogul. >> he never raped, right? >> >> he never rapped, right? >> his brother did. >> this is the same group that did disney's world gay days. aren't there more worthy causes? >> i think people need to find more things to do. >> sometimes hatred is the best way to assert identity. >> interesting point you prune -- you [bleep]. >> here is the thing for me. to me a show like this is something we have talked about on "red eye." like, if only there was a bill cosby for islam. islamic lead -- leaders have not stepped up and do what they need to do to deal with the idea of extremist.
-- extremism. conte places like -- shouldn't places like lowes support it? >> they don't want to alienate the anti-zombie groups. they will need to buy the lum -- limber. >> that was not a freudian slip. we were talking about zombies and a zombie idea and it was in my head when i was reading that. >> but this group, they are causing trouble and complaining, and i think the biggest problem is the pr couldn't worry that there is a bunch of people that bitch and mown. ignore them and there won't be a problem. their idea they don't like the show doesn't portray muslim extremists, it is called "all-american muslim." it is trying to show the positive aspect and then can't complain, it is -- well it is not supposed to show the negative aspect. it is their fumbling that created the news story. somebody should have said,
these people are unimportant. then everything would be fine. >> the other thing is, bill, i'm unaware of what lowes is because to buy home repair you need to have a home. and it is hard to build things -- >> i sleep in a lowe's theater. it is like the moth situation. what lowes did was lame, but they have a right to be lame, right? >> they can choose to advertise however they want. considering this is a channel whose programming consists of kate plus 8 and toddlers and tieras, they may want to consider boycotting tlc. >> you talk about showing the negative as -- negative aspect. you have somebody plugging a planned parenthood doctor. that's an idea that isn't
changing history. it is not a negative aspect of islam. >> and i think it does good for all of us to see different aspects and angles. it is not all what we think. >> i don't like give ford's people. i just want to be around people like me, sad and lonely people. >> getting back to dana's point, the french could use a little of this. french people are annoying contributing to american society. >> are you joking? who would they cast? >> maybe they will cost somebody who is not french. joy -- >> before i move orussell simmons tweeting, i do find it rich he gets upset about this stuff, but has never commented on this stuff going on at occupy wall street he so uh doars. -- so adores. >> it is ironic people look at this group and say that's what christians do.
you have an extreme example of a group calling themselves christian complaining about muslim extremists. i hope people don't say, look at the bigoted christians when you have people very much on the fringe. do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news .com. to leave a voicemail, very simple, 212-462-5050. >> still to come, the half time report from andy levy. >> tonight is sponsored by flamingos. the tropical birds with long lebs, webed feet and pink in color. thanks flamingos.
welcome back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. for that we go to andy levy. hi, andy. >> hi, greg. how are you? >> good. >> ricardo said yes, by the way. >> have fun with raw raw car -- ricardo. i will give apiece of advice, don't expect much. >> okay. >> polls. you said the usa today poll shows democratic support is eroding while republicans are growing. are they getting taller, fatter? >> i kind of did some editing there. >> yes, you did.
>> it is sure to preserve the structure. >> i am not so sure about that. >> really? it is like you. fine are you shorter, but you have the structure of a human being. >> i prefer to treat the language like jazz. >> do you? you are just going to scat the entire show? >> haven't you noticed? >> scat doesn't mean what it used to mean, guys. >> in germany it is okay. >> dana, you pointed out that big business and big government both suck and it is hard to believe anyone feels anything good for either one. >> a side profile. >> and it says -- look over to the side. yes, there you go. your head looks huge. >> i know. >> what is going on here? good lord. the poll question was which do you feel mor you can answer big government, but not like big business and fear them slightly less.
>> i agree with you always, andy. >> joe, you made a good point. when you said big government you imply it means too big which could explain why half of democrats fear big government. it kind of depends on your definition. doesn't it? a republican can fear they have something in mind to what big government is. and a democrat can say the same thing, but have a different notion in mind of what the government is. >> no one wants their own projects and funding cut. >> is that funny to you? people might disagree. >> no, i was laughing at dana's head. it is going everywhere. >> we are totally baked up here. >> clearly. clearly. i was laughing, bill, when you said your save yes, sir, obama -- savior, obama doesn't believe in big government.
have you looked at the deficit lately? >> that was all his fault. >> i didn't say it was all his fault. he hasn't shrinking it. >> somebody is retreating. >> find me the tape. find me the tape. >> joe, you talked about uh stair tee m prays. when they say they are not going to spend as much, but they will still spend money, my favorite is when politicians say they will pay for something by cutting out fraud and waste. why not cut out the fraud and waste in the first place? >> this is like the amount of rat feces in your peanut butter. keeping it low, lower than ever before. >> dana, you said it is not our drone. it is iran's drone. can we count it as an export now 1234. >> you absolutely can. and as a vegetable for school lunches. >> all right, dana, what is your source on only din gnaw god giving the prone to pipa middleton? >> my twitter feed. >> that's good enough.
>> for me it is. >> for everybody. >> you know what she will do? she will wear it on her head. >> and guess what, six months later everybody will be wearing a drone on their head. >> you said you love dick cheney's response that we should have gone in there and bombed it. think progress points out in april of 2001 a u.s. spy plane collided with a spider jet and landed in chinese territory. the bush administration issued a letter of apology saying it was very sorry. >> you know what we need here, we need newt gingrich's space lasers. problem solved. >> you know what, they put some hair in the problem areas as well. >> excellent epidural. not epidural. >> epilady. you are thinking of epilady
which was a great variety in the 80s. >> and a great band. dana, the drone probably does have one, but when we lost contact with the drone, we also lost the means to activate the self-destruct mechanism. >> it is thought much of a self-destruct then is it? >> i asked about a guy twho -- who knows about this and why we can't make it blowup and he says, i blame it on "star trek" because now everybody wants a self-destruct ship. >> the only thing with the triggers are the hollywood star lets. they all have problems. >> we will be right back. >> no, you still have time. >> it is a little choke we make on the show. lowes taking heat for pulling the ads. this florida family
association claims it influenced over 35,000 retail locations to stop selling pornography. a, i already don't like them much. and b, they think people still go to stores to get points. >> you definitely blocked me. i am definitely not going to the local liquor store to get my big backyard. >> did you say big backyard? >> i bought that because people think it is for your backyard which is where you hide it. bury it under the geraniums. >> you asked how russell simmons has the time to do what he wants. it is an impraserio. >> i am not a rapper. >> no. he is an impraserio. >> that means he does many things. he is a jack of all trades, if you will. >> i won't. greg you said it is great a tv show is showing muslims who are not extremist and wanted it supported and not
protested. this is how the florida family association describes it, quote, one of the most troubling scenes occurred at the introduction of the program when a muslim police officer quoted, i am really an american, no ifs ands or buts about it. a person who lives in this country would consider themselves an american. >> that actually chinks -- changes my mind about this. it has to be stopped. >> the show needs to go. >> i am starting a letter writing campaign after this show. >> i might still have an on-line petition. >> i think we should begin our chairs with hey, hey, ho, ho. >> i like that. that is always a tough rhyme. >> we can rise to the challenge and find something powerful. >> can we have a drum circle? >> i believe that is possible.
less than a month after winning the award, ryan brawn has tested positive for performance enhancing drugs and faces a 50-game suspension. the brewers' outfielder, that is basketball, dismissed the results calling it, quote, bs. it has been reports that he has extremely high levels, and it came from an outside source. says the spokesman, quote, we are confident he will be ultimately exonerated.
exonerated means more ripped than before. >> not possible. >> let's discuss this in our -- >> lightning rooooouuuuunnnnnd. lightning round. >> joe, you are packed to the gills with steroids. >> it is true. >> should this guy lose the mvp award if these results are confirmed? >> well, i don't think anyone has ever appealed these successfully, so i'm going to say it seems confident he will be exonerated, but i don't think it will happen. i think if you are using performance enhancing drugs and they are illegal, the awards you won while doing them should be stripped of you. the thing that amazes me is you have all of these baseball players using the performance enhancing drugs and it is still a dull sport to watch. >> they should be using these drugs in fun things like go-kart racing. go-kart racing without drugs is fun. imagine it on drugs. >> getting tweaked.
>> getting tweaked on a go-kart. i don't know. sounds like a saturday. >> i would watch that. you could not pay me any amount of money to watch baseball. but that i would watch. >> women bowling on steroids would be awesome. >> luge. >> luge would be great. i don't know if you could go faster though. you would almost have to put the steroids in the actual luge which i don't think would have any affect. dana, i am walking to nonsense land. the population is clearly me. do they need to change their policy and allow steroids? >> i think so. i think we need to em -- embrace technology. the whole idea is to approach man, and what better outside force that helps the athlete along that journey than a nice shot of highly experimental goat hormones. >> you make it sound so appealing. is this simply conspiracy against the world's best
jewish athlete? >> best or only? best, okay got you. he was the jewish babe ruth in his day. i would say anyone who has won an award in baseball in the last 10 years has been tied to balco or been brought up on steroids. i will say what is the mvp now? what have we learned of the mvp. the mvp, while not standing for it means steroids work. he is a bill -- billboard by the fact that juicey makes you a winner. >> you could be 275 pounds and 5 foot 10 is not a sport. these guys are juiced up and get on a treadmill. why juice up, get on a treadmill and run around. >> that doesn't work. >> what about men taking human growth hormone in the middle of their life to keep muscle tone. they are juicing. the whole point of life on this earth is to alter our frail forms for stuff we
cooked up in a laboratory or cave. >> why are the can disels -- scan delz involving sports. why not just say legalize drugs? >> did you see the move vow "limitless"? this is what the movie is about. you are right. the drugs are used everywhere. and why they are used everywhere is because unlike the stuff available to us legally, it works. everything that is illegal tends to have an actual affect whether it is a recreational drug affect like marijuana or coke. you know it works because it has an affect on you. the fun stuff -- when you see a commercial for a soda pop everybody is having a good time. soda pop doesn't make you happy. >> civilization is so impure. that's what is being defended here. >> for a 10-year-old boy i imagine you idolize your hero. >> are you probably on
anti-psychotic. >> it doesn't mean to diminish the whole dream of wanting to -- of cruising through the s.a.t. at high speeds. >> of being a baseball player and what you think is right and moral in this world. it corrupts idealism for those who report even corrupt yet. why would you do that? >> 5,000 pre -- preschoolerers in this country are on anti-psych particulars. -- anti-psychotics. >> we don't want it here so we can have one little victory that we wanted. >> it is everywhere else. if average people are taking stuff for attention deficit disorder, half of those people don't have it. and it works for all of them. i think that is unfair. >> speed will help you focus. >> it does.
welcome back to "red eye." 5* chicago strip club is offering a lap dance in exchange for an unused -- that sounds so nice, an unused, unwrapped toy. last christmas the admiral theater's lap dances for the needy promotion collected five carloads of toys and donated them to the local churches. joe, they limited this to one dance per customer. is that because the strippers would be upset that they are not get anything money? some guys tries to slip a stretch armstrong in her thong. >> is that what they call it these days? >> i think it is nice they are doing something for kids. but who is more needy than a man getting a lap dance for the holidays. i love being on the split screen. this is the thing my parents have been waiting for.
how do we know these single moms are not taking the toys for their own kids? >> yes, but usually thisy have 60 or 70 of them. i think they must be taking them and putting them into a pen. >> they are putting themselves through college. >> they are dental hygenists. they are america's heroes. is this a good idea? >> there is a reason they say no toys in the champagne room. gross. and i love how they put, qualify yes, sirs, unwrapped, completely new because you know that there are some totally dingy guys that were like, oh here is my son's used choo-choo train. >> exactly. he opens it up and you know the kids at home cry, daddy took all of the toys. and he seemed aroused. >> bill, does this happen to you when you are giving lap dances at your gentlemen's club? >> i suggested an idea at my last gentlemen's clubs meeting that we shouldy limb naitd ad
sh dash eliminate the middle man, don't give lap dances to for the needy, give them too the needy. he refuses to give a horrible bum a nice laugh there. >> it is warm and generous. >> go and do that. >> i think that is the holiday story. >> miracle on 43rd street. >> for that to work out, they may have wanted to give the lap dances to the needy children. >> the ultimate irony or sadness is that the stripper who is getting the toy will start crying. daddy never gave her a toy. if i got a toy from my dad i wouldn't be striping. isn't that true? >> she probably grew up in russia.
>> so true. >> i have to say -- yes, they are from eastern europe. >> i have a local beer near -- a local bar near me and they all speak like a russian villain or bond villain. >> in my neighborhood the bartenders are also russian and very, very smart. wonderful people. >> they can bite your head off. >> i tried. don't watch tonight. well, if she doesn't watch she won't see me tell her -- >> you can't do it at the end of the show. >> i can't do it so it is pointless i am babbling and looking desperate. we will close things out with a post game wrap up. to see clips of recent shows, fox news .com/red eye.
back to andy levy. >> dana, i hear you have a message of tory. ♪ it is like a story of love ♪ can you hear me ♪ ♪ came back only yesterday ♪ moving farther away ♪ want you near me ♪ all i needed was the love you gave ♪ ♪ all you needed for another day ♪ ♪ and all i ever knew ♪ only you >> thanks, dana. how is everything going with charles payne? >> char she is a -- charlie is a good man. are we on the road -- i don't know what to say. it is like living in my head. i can't get it out. >> i know. singing is not going to ruin my plug. >> long island, governors on the 23rd of december. brokerage